The Sunday Selah: I'm Glad It Happened
The power of repentance over regret.
The disciples said to him “Lord if he has fallen asleep he will recover.” Now Jesus had spoken of his death but they thought he meant taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
John 11:12-15
Regret.
The feeling that lies in the pit of your stomach and just sits. It’s typically brought on when you thought to do something, didn’t and now you’re dealing with the consequences.
Regret is what made David’s bones waste away in Psalm 32:3 as he reflects on his decision to commit adultery and eventually murder because of an inability to cover his transgression of sleeping with Bathsheba and ultimately impregnating her. (Yes, it was scandalous).
Regret is often paired with heaviness and grief as you play out in your mind what might have happened if you’d moved differently. And while this emotion is something many, if not all people experience, what’s far more powerful and transformative than regret is repentance.
Why?
Because regret typically fills our hearts with shame resulting in a desire to withdraw or hide from God (as if we could) just like Adam and Eve did instead of drawing near to Him that we might confess our sin and be forgiven.
Psalm 32:1 says “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” Verse 2 goes on to read “Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” Meaning we’re not lying to ourselves or pretending that we didn’t make a mistake.
Instead we’re moving forward, not allowing our failures to snuff out our faith.
In my personal experience knowing I’ve been redeemed and forgiven of the sin of poor financial stewardship has created an even deeper love and allegiance to God. I sing songs like “Great is Thy Faithfulness” with much more conviction! Because I’m met with the truth that God could withhold so many blessings from me, but because of His faithfulness and forgiveness He hasn’t!
It’s why I stand in awe as God shows me signs that I will own and operate a business again in spite of me. It’s why I don’t look at paying off debt as a burden but a blessing.
It’s why I look at my daughter with so much joy (see proof below) because I remember laying on the floor of my prayer closet after losing yet another baby and wondering if I’d every carry a pregnancy full-term again.
It’s why I’m able to look at the pain and discipline I’ve endured over the past 2 years and say to myself and to God “I’m glad that it happened.”
What looked like death was actually my destiny because it exposed everything in my life that was a counterfeit and helped me decipher between sand and a firm foundation.
I’m waking up again with a sense of expectation that’s not secretly laced with anxiety about what the future holds for me because I recognize something I should have scene all along - my future is not up to me. Instead, it’s left in the hands of the same God who intentionally allowed Lazarus to die, not as a punishment but so that people could witness the resurrection power of Jesus.
And even in my own life I believe that He allowed some things to die, not only so new things might live but so the very crowd who would have otherwise been gathering around to grieve with me will now be coming together to worship.
What about you? What’s one of your biggest regrets? In what ways could God be positioning you for redemption?
Let me know in the comments.